Determination
by The Knight of Thirteen
Summary: Three months after Vash leaves the insurance girls, they are still waiting for his return. One more so than the other. A child is one the way, Millie is a nurse in training, and Meryl is a bar maid. Not to mention a spikey headed gunman, and a disable murderous lunatic. All under one roof for the forseeable future.
1. Chapter 1

_**I do not own Trigun nor any of the characters! This is set after the anime, with absolutely no reguard to the manga. Any inconsistancies pointed out between my story and the manga will likely be ignored, while any errors i make about the anime will be taken into consideration.**_

_**Pairing : Meryl x Vash**_

* * *

It had been two months since she had watched him walk off into the distance. He had been on his way to find his brother and stop him. A man called Knives. A man who intended to kill every last human being on the planet. And she had no idea if and when he would return.

So she waited. Her partner, Millie Thompson, got a job digging the town's well, while she took up a post working at the local bar and inn. She did whatever was required and between them, they were able to rent a nice home on the edge of town. They knew eventually they would be ordered back to headquarters if they didn't find their target soon, but her reports kept their superiors satisfied.

A week passed. Then two. Then a month. After three months, she had nearly given up hope. Millie knew she was worried. She saw it in her partner's face every evening. They would arrive home from work at the same time, and Millie would go upstairs to shower while her friend began to cook, staring out the window at the horizon, lost in though. And every day, she looked a little less hopeful.

Meryl Strife scrubbed a stubborn pan one evening after Millie had already gone to bed for the night. She watched the sun fade behind the dunes as she did every night, hoping to see that tall silhouette outlined by the setting sun. But she was never rewarded. Every night she would retire to bed when it was too dark to keep watch and cry a little longer as she wondered if he would ever return. If he was even still alive. Tonight was no different.

She wasn't concentrating on the dishes. Her mind was elsewhere. A million iles away. Somewhere green and calm and peaceful. Somewhere she had never been. Somewhere she had only ever heard that man mention to the priest one night. Eden. A land where the sky was blue and the water was clear and cold, and there was no war, or hunger, or hate.

She blinked a tear away distractedly and tried to imagine the place. A place so wonderful couldn't possibly exist. It was just a fantasy that those two had chased. But she wanted to chase it too. Because it had made him happy. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, imagining what it might be like. She could see Millie and the priest with an infant sitting under a tree. She saw that man smiling in the way she so rarely saw.

Then she opened her eyes and looked out at the vast unending desert. The hot, dry, desolate planet they called home. She sighed and put the last pan up to dry. She cast one last look over the sand and then walked to her room.

* * *

The next day was hotter than usual. The bar was busy from the moment it opened. Since the mining team had hit water recently, the saloons were all selling water cheap in celebration. The town was in brighter spirits than usual with a new supply of fresh water.

Meryl saw two men, both tall and wearing traveling cloaks with their hoods pulled over their heads enter the bar and take a seat in the far corner. One seemed to be supporting the other's weight and directing him. It was odd, but not the strangest thing she had seen in the bar.

She went over to the two and greeted them.

"Good morning! Is there anything I can do for you gentlemen? Water is on sale for just 5 c cents a glass for this week only in celebration of the new well."

One of the men moaned slightly. It sounded as if he had said "water", but she couldn't be sure.

"Thank you. Two waters please." The other said quietly. She nodded and walked quickly back to the counter. She wondered what had happened to that man. He sounded like he needed a doctor, but she didn't want to get involved when she didn't know what was going on.

She went back and sat the two glasses on the table and then backed away to watch from another table. The more able man held his companion up straight and lifted the glass to his lips. All she could see of the injured man was his face for a moment. She gasped. Then she noticed his blond hair was lighter than that of the man she so desperately wanted to see. She sighed and frowned. Something was gnawing away at her subconscious.

She looked at the man who was still giving his companion water, one careful sip at a time. His left hand looked strange. The dark glove seemed to fit to perfectly. And the way it moved seemed stiff and unnatural. Then her heart stopped as his cloak shifted and she saw the silver handle of a large revolver at his hip.

She walked to the table in a daze. It couldn't be. He would have said something. He would have greeted her. He would have done something...

"V-Vash?" The man looked up and his hood fell back and for a moment she really thought she was mistaken. His face was covered in rough stubble and his hair fell down past his shoulders. His hair and his skin both had a gray tint to them and his voice was as dry as the desert. His lips were cracked and bloody.

But it was definitely him. The blue green eyes and the small scars she had come to know so well made her certain. She looked at the man beside him who so greatly resembled him and she understood. It was his brother. Somehow, Knives looked far better. But it soon became clear why. Vash had given both glasses of water to him. And it was unlikely that this was a new thing.

"Vash I thought you were never going to return..." She felt like sobbing but she knew now wasn't the time. "Bring him and follow me." She led the two to the house on the edge of town and laid Knives out on the counter.

His wounds were healing, but he was weak and it didn't take an expert to see that the man would never hold a gun again. He was no longer a threat to anyone. He was helpless. And after all he had done, after everyone he had killed and all the suffering he had caused, Vash could never turn his back on someone in need. Especially not his own brother.

Meryl tended to the wounds and re wrapped them before moving to Vash. She knew he wouldn't have accepted help before his brother if she had tried. She forced him to drink glass after glass of water. Soon his skin began to regain some color and his eyes began to brighten. After a gallon and a half he looked up at her and she saw his eyes clear and he smiled.

"Meryl... Thank you. I don't think I would have lasted much longer. You saved me."

"You idiot. I understand you couldn't help but take care of him, but did you ever stop to think that he'd be just as screwed as you if you went and died from giving him all the food and water?"

"Actually neither of has eaten in a month. We don't really need food to survive as long as we have water. It's just a luxury and it helps us function better." He looked at his brother and frowned. "Do you think he'll be alright?"

"Yes, I think he'll live. But I'm more worried about you. You looked awful Vash..."

"Do I still?"

She looked him over and had to admit he had changed remarkably. His lips were soft and unbroken. His hair was blond and without a trace of gray. His skin was full of color and life. He smiled at her.

"All I really needed was some water." Then he stood and wrapped his arms around her. "And you."

"Vash I missed you... I thought you must have died... What took you so long?"

"It took me over a month to find him. By the time I had gotten where I was going, he had already become impatient and moved on. When I finally caught up to him, I had no idea where we were and I made horrible time carrying him. He had already made many enemies in the surrounding towns and we had to go far out of the way to get water. I couldn't carry him and enough water for both of us, so I only brought enough for him and hoped we would find you before I died. Looks like we made it just in time."

She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest, breathing in his scent. Gunsmoke, blood, sand. But it was him. It was the humanoid typhoon. It was Vash the Stampede. He had come back. She pulled back and looked up at him.

"Millie is pregnant." Of all the things she so desperately wanted to tell him, why on earth had that been the first thing to make it to her mouth?

"Wolfwood's?" Vash asked smiling.

"Mhm. She has been happier than usual since she found out. She started showing just a little after the well was finished and I made her find a less physically demanding job. She's been learning to be a nurse at the local hospital. She'll be a big help with you and your brother." She couldn't believe it. Three months and she was talking to him as if no time had passed.

"I'm truly grateful. You two have been there for me when I've needed you the most and I can never repay you for that." He yawned and stretched, then winced. She ordered him to strip and let her tend his wounds as well. Again she was shocked by the horrible scars that covered his body. She gritted her teeth and found the ones that were bleeding and fresh and tended to them as best she could.

When Millie got home, she was overjoyed to find that Vash had returned. She set straight to work stitching both of the brothers' wounds and even worked on some of Vash's older injuries, removing a piece of steal mesh from his chest and old staples from a number of other spots. By the time she was done, he looked halfway human. Funny, since he wasn't human at all, Meryl thought.

"Thanks Millie. That's a lot better. A lot of those were meant to be temporary, but I never stayed in one place long enough to have the wounds properly treated." She waved it off and grinned.

"Oh it's nothing really Mr. Vash! It's my pleasure!" She went to the fridge and took out a container of pudding. "But you know, if you want to heal properly this time, you need to stick around and let us take care of you. It would sure make Meryl a lot happier."

Meryl blushed at the statement and looked away, but didn't deny it.

"I plan to stick around for a while. I need to go back out soon though. I left my jacket, bag, and the Cross Punisher on the outskirts in a cave so I wouldn't be recognized." Millie's smile wavered for a moment as she remembered the cross and the man who had carried it. Then she grinned even brighter.

"Did it help?" She asked.

"It did. It saved my life actually. I owe you my life for making me take it along. I'd have died without it. Thanks again." She laughed and finished her pudding then went upstairs.

"I need to shower and sleep. I'm learning how to treat minor damage to internal organs tomorrow and I needed to be well rested and alert."

"That girl is something else." Vash shook his head and looked at Meryl. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. It's just... Vash I've been thinking... I... How old are you?"

"One hundred and thirty two years..." Meryl stares wide eyed at him.

"You can't be..."

"I am. I was one year old at the time of the Great Fall. I aged at ten times the speed of a human for my first two years, and then stopped. I haven't aged a day since then. I have no idea if it will last forever, or if one day I will just age into dust..." Vash looked at his hand as if it might begin decaying before his eyes.

"So long you've been on this planet... Have you ever fallen in love with a human?" Meryl looked at him hopefully.

"A few times. But I never act on it. I flirt and stuff, but I would never do that to a woman I loved. Make her watch as I stayed the same through the years as she aged and died. And I'm not sure I could handle it myself."

"What if she knew and didn't care? What if she loved you and wanted to be with you even if she knew you wouldn't grow old with her? Would you deny her to spare yourself the pain?" Her eyes were watering now.

"I... Meryl..."

"Forget it..." She barely whispered. She slid off the counter and began to walk toward her room, but Vash caught her and turned her to face him gently. He looked into her eyes and sighed.

"Meryl do you understand what it would mean? I'm not human. I'm a plant. I might die at any moment, I might never die at all. I don't know if we could have children... I couldn't give you the happy peaceful life you deserve..." He looked away.

"You idiot." She grabbed his long hair and kisses him once. "I love you and I don't care if you are a plant or a thomas! You are Vash and that is all that matters to me. Now go get some rest.

He looked at her in shock for a few moments before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her gently. He walked out of the room and slipped into the shower as soon as Millie finished.

Meryl was still standing in the kitchen when Vash returned. She was about to yell at him for still being awake when she looked at him and caught her breath. His face was clean shaven and his hair was trimmed and spiked. He was dressed in a long pair of pants covered in pockets and a simple gray shirt. Even with out his coat, he looked like his old self. She grinned.

"I thought I told you to get to bed."

"Yeah... The thing is, Millie already moved Knives into the only spare bed and I'm afraid I'd hurt him if I tried to sleep next to him in his condition."

"Hmmm... Well I guess you've only got two options. You can either sleep on the couch, which is a good foot and a half too short for you, and hurt my feelings, and get yelled at tomorrow for making yourself even more sore after all Millie did, or you can accept my very generous offer and share my bed just for tonight. It's much larger than someone my size really needs anyway."

Meryl turned red and grinned as she looked away. On one hand, guilting him into her bed was probably not the best way to start a relationship, but on the other hand, he needed a good nights sleep and as long as she kept herself under control, her bed was the only place he would get that tonight.

"You don't really leave much room for negotiations. No wonder you're so good at your job. They would have only sent the best agent they had available after someone they believe to be so dangerous." He smiled at her and she gritted her teeth. She would not fold to flattery even if it did make her beam with pride.

He stepped close to her and they stood inches apart for a few moments, looking at each other steadily, waiting for the other to make the next move.

"Oh God... Please don't tell me you've gone and fallen for one of these parasites, brother!" Knives snarled from his position supported in the doorway.

* * *

_**Please leave a review! Critisism, compliments, comments, questions, suggestions or requests! Anything you have to say, let me know!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**This is the last chapter. I have no intention of going farther, i have ended it how i wanted to. I'm sorry to anyone who hates the idea of Knives and Millie, but i see them sort of balancing each other out some.**_

* * *

"I will not let a parasite like you feed me that human garbage!"

Meryl fumed as she held the spoon before the stubborn man's mouth.

"You WILL let me feed you and you WILL eat whatever the hell I stick in your mouth!" She smacked him over the head with the spoon, causing him to wince and his mouth to open in shock. She promptly stuffed a large spoonful of the stuff in his mouth and then clamped her hand over it.

"MMMMPFFF!"

"Swallow or I swear I'll hold your nose too and be done with you." Her glare left no doubt that she would do it. He swallowed.

"My brother would leave you in a heartbeat if you killed me, you know." He thought he had her.

"I wouldn't kill you. I'd let you pass out and then just shove it all down your throat." He grimaced.

"I'd prefer you to kill me."

"I know. But I have so many worse things up my sleeves." She gave him an innocent grin. Serves the psychopath right.

"What is this stuff anyway?" He looked at the brown goop on the spoon before his nose with distaste.

"It's pudding. It's all we've got until Millie gets back so I can go shopping. And no, I am NOT leaving you here unsupervised!" The man closed his mouth slowly, letting his argument die early.

"Look. You want to get away from us "human parasites", and the fastest way for that to happen would be by recovering as quickly as possible, which requires eating." Meryl tried to convince the man with logic.

"My desire to be rid of you all is nearly inconsequential. I will not be leaving my brother, especially since he has rendered me nearly incapable of caring for myself, and I am also incapable of killing you all off now. I am stuck here indefinitely, whether I eat or not." Meryl gritted her teeth.

She really hated how pathetic the man sounded. The way he said it always made her a little upset at Vash, until she remembered that it was this, or let him annihilate humanity.

"Knives, your brother asked me and Millie to do everything we could to help you get better, and I plan to do just that. Now shut up and eat!" She shoved yet another spoonful into the man's mouth. That made... Two.

"Then let the tall one tend to me. At least she isn't seducing my brother." Meryl blushed at this and set the pudding down.

"Seducing him? SEDUCING HIM?! You absolute moron! I love him and we are building a relationship like normal people! You know, relationship? A shared bond between two life forms with common feelings toward each other? The thing homicidal psychopaths don't usually get to enjoy?" She was trying to keep her temper under control.

She knew Vash was understanding of how difficult his brother could be, but Millie had become extremely protective of her first real patient, and always pouted when Meryl resorted to smacking the bloodthirsty plant.

"Are there no men of your own species to go attach yourself to? Are you so detestable that you can not find a mate among your own species?" That hit a nerve and she was about to knock his face in when his head hit the table and she saw her hero standing behind him, his fist firmly planted on his brothers skull.

"Knives, is it too much to ask that you behave and not drive Meryl to becoming a murderer? She is an incredible woman, and can have any man she chooses, of whatever species she chooses. I'm honored that she's chosen me. And you should also recall your belief that we are "superior beings" and keep that in mind when you're trying to insult her by loving one of us. I still do not agree with you, but you could at least be consistent.

Meryl smiled at the spiky haired man and then hugged him. "You showed up just in time. I would have ended up with a bounty to rival yours if he had kept running his mouth." Vash laughed and held her close.

"Just imagine it, your poster hanging in town. Meryl the Stampede, $$60 billion! 50% bonus if you bring in both Stampedes!" She couldn't help but giggle.

"Please tell me Stampede isn't actually your last name..." He looked at her and took a deep breath.

"My name is Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III." Meryl sighed.

"You're such a dork sometimes."

"I know. The truth is, we don't have ast names. We were only given first names because Rem thought it was insulting and cruel to treat us like objects or animals." Meryl smiled at him.

"Well, i owe Rem a lot. She is the reason you are the man you are today." To her suprise he shook his head.

"Meryl, Rem may have set me on the path i've taken through life, but there are toher forces driving me now, and i've stopped relying on her so much. I've started living by my own words. I drifted for too long, just existing. I thought it was about time to start actually living." She leaned back on the counter.

"Vash you are an incredible man." She smiled as the door opened and Millie entered the crowded kitchen.

"Mr. Vash! You're home early! I brought a new medical kit and all the supplies I should need for the rest of the month and there is plenty left for food." She set her bags on the counter and handed a bundle of cash to her shorter friend.

"That is great Millie! This is more than enough for the things we'll need this month! We might be able to afford to start on our own garden. It will cut down on expenses in the long run. I'll be back soon guys!" She was on her way out the door when someone caught her sleeve. She turned, expecting to see Vash leaning in to kiss her, but instead found Knives leaning as far from his chair as he could and giving her a pleading look.

"Could you get apples. . . . . Please?" He looked as if the last word pained him, but Meryl smiled at him.

"Of course."

* * *

A few hours later, Meryl returned to their little house to find a surprising seen. Knives was standing in their yard, supporting himself with a pair of crutches that his brother had crafted for him. He was staring out at the setting sun with a contented smile on his face.

For a moment, she couldn't believe it was the same man. He looked so gentle then. He looked passionate and alive and... he looked, for the first time since she'd met him, like he was truly Vash's twin.

"Hey Knives. I got the apples you wanted." She handed one to him and he gave her a funny look. After a few moments of strained silence, he spoke.

"Thank you." He looked back toward the sunset and took a bite of the apple. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Knives." She was nervous. What had come over the man who had been unable to speak a civil word to her that afternoon?

"You know Vash isn't human. Neither of us are. We're something unique. We're plants that live within your world. We're unprecedented. And... We live longer than humans. We don't age the same way. How can you accept that? How can you care about him, knowing you will wither away and die, and break his heart when you do, while he lives on?" She was taken aback.

"I... Knives I love him. I know that it will be hard, but I know he is strong and... we both decided it would be worth it. It wasn't something I could choose on my own. No relationship is one sided. Have you ever felt what it is like to be loved? It is easy to forget that the future won't be as easy as the present. But it is also enough to help you struggle through it."

"I've never felt that... The closest bond I've ever shared was with Vash, and I damaged that beyond repair. And it was all for nothing. And... maybe I was wrong. Not all humans are the same." She stared open mouthed at the man. Was she hearing correctly?

"Knives... Come inside. It's getting cold." He looked at her and smiled.

"I'll be inside in a few minutes. I've always loved the sunset. It makes me feel... hopeful. Like maybe tomorrow will be better than today. Thank you for the apple. And for talking to me." He looked back out at the horizon as the sun was rapidly shrinking out of sight.

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure." She went inside in a daze. The man was not what she had first thought. Had she been as bad as him, judging his nature based on the mistakes she knew of, not what complexities might be buried inside? Vash was sitting on the sofa, snoring lightly. She smiled and went to sit with him. His eyes flickered open when she got close.

"Hey Meryl. Did you get everything you needed?" She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder. His strong arms wrapped around her.

"What happened while I was gone? Knives was... almost nice to me." Vash looked at her curiously.

"Really? Wow. Millie had a talk with him today, and he has been pretty quiet since then. I thought he was just sulking because she never reprimanded him before, but maybe she got through to him some. I'm glad." He rubbed her back absently.

"I'm glad too. Today was the first time I could really tell he was your brother. The way he watched the sunset... It's like when you watch the dawn. Two sides of the same coin." She stretched and relaxed, letting her body mold to his.

"You're exhausted, Meryl. You should go to sleep. You've got work in the morning." She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sound of his heartbeat.

"I know. Just a few more minutes..."

* * *

An hour later, Vash carried her to bed, sound asleep. He chuckled as he removed her cape full of guns and tucked her in. She was something else.

Meryl pretended to be asleep, enjoying how gentle Vash was when handling her. She tried not to blush as she felt him unfasten her cape and lift it off of her, leaving her shoulders bare. When he had tucked the blankets tightly around her and left the room, she opened her eyes and stretched out, emptying her pockets of her various accessories.

She heard voices outside her door.

"Vash, you know she will die and leave you alone. Why put yourself through that? Is she really worth that?" It was Knives' voice.

"She's worth that and a thousand times more. She gives me another reason to live. I'm living for her now. And for you. I've spent too long living for someone who's already lost and neglecting those who remained." There was a long silence.

"I am scared, brother. I feel weak. I feel... pathetic. I see your strength. I see how strong even these human women are, and I don't mean just in body, but in spirit. All of you... I envy you. I envy the love you've found, but I fear it too. I'm afraid I'll lose you again. I'm afraid I'll be alone again."

"Knives, I have no intention of leaving you. You're my brother. I love Meryl, but I don't have to choose one or the other. I can keep you both, and that is what I intend to do. And there is always the posibility that you will find someone yourself."

"Vash, i'm not like you three. I'm not as strong. I... couldn't fall in love, knowing that I would lose them in the end. It is easier to be distant by choice, than to lose them to time."

She didn't hear anymore words. She didn't need to. Her eyes were wet with tears. She couldn't imagine how horrible he must feel. So alone. Seeing the happiness those around him had and being unable to share it. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. She would do her best to make his life less painful.

"Meryl, are you awake?" Vash had entered the room, silent as a shadow.

"Yeah, are you coming to bed?" She looked back at him, hoping he didn't know she'd been listening.

"Yeah." He slipped under the covers behind her and his warm arms wrapped around her middle. She felt the stress from the day melt away as sleep took her.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the change in Knives was incredible. His complaints about his injuries became a silent acceptance of the punishment for his crimes. His hate filled remarks and insults turned into quiet, and thoughtful comments that always made someone smile.

He still couldn't walk without the help of a person or his crutches, but he was no longer in constant pain. He couldn't lift anything heavier than a spoon to eye level. He tried out several hobbies, trying to find a way to occupy his time.

After discovering he had bad luck with cooking appliances, needles, and animals, he gave up his attempts at cooking, sewing, and bird watching, and finally settled on drawing and painting. To everyone's surprise, Knives was an incredible artist.

It wasn't until Millie's daughter was born that they finally saw Knives' smile stay for more than an instant. He became as protective of her as any father, doing everything in his power to help Millie care for her. He began to sell some of his paintings on the side and brought in enough extra money to supply the young child with various luxuries she would not have otherwise enjoyed.

Almost every week, Millie would return from work to find a package on her bed that always contained some small thing for her baby, and a container of pudding. Little by little, she began to think of Knives as her child's other parent.

She would always love Wolfwood, and somewhere deep down, she knew she should hate Knives for being responsible for her lover's death, but when she saw his pain, and the kindness he showed to her and her daughter, she couldn't help but smile. He was not the same man. He had changed for the better.

Vash had given him back his pistol not too long ago, and to everyone's surprise, he had immediately disassembled it, cleaned it, reassembled it, and put it in a drawer, unloaded. They never saw him open the drawer again. He told them he had no need for a weapon anymore. He was done with fighting.

* * *

Vash the Stampede was declared dead when his tattered, bloodstained coat was found outside town. In no time, he was just a memory. The bounty was removed, and after a while, people forgot what the legendary gunman was supposed to look like.

Soon after this, he and Meryl were married. It was a small ceremony, with only a few guests, mostly Meryl and Millie's families, but it was enough for them. For lack of a better idea, Vash took Meryl's last name on their wedding license.

Knives and Millie became nearly inseparable as Nichole grew. After a few years, they were able to afford to buy a house of their own, and they moved in near by. Nichole knew that Knives wasn't her biological father, but she looked to him as her father without regret.

Both brothers knew that their futures would be painful, but, whenever they looked at the two women who had changed their worlds, they pushed aside any fear or doubt, and enjoyed their happiness while it lasted.

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_**Please leave a review! Reviews make me happy inside!**_


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